Obama awards DeGeneres Medal of Freedom, Pence snatches it in his talons
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Obama awards DeGeneres Medal of Freedom, Pence snatches it in his talons

Vice president-elect Mike Pence has been very open about being anti-LGBT since being chosen as Trump’s running mate in mid-July. Many thought he was just another harmless homophobic conservative. However, due to recent acts against prominent members of the LGBT community, people are beginning to take him seriously. The most recent example of this behavior … Continue reading

Bear community offended by Chicago Cubs ‘politically incorrect’ name and logo
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Bear community offended by Chicago Cubs ‘politically incorrect’ name and logo

The Chicago Cubs organization celebrated their first World Series win in 108 years last week by celebrating in the streets of Chicago for days. Despite this joyous occasion, several members of Chicago’s Bear community refused to celebrate in protest. “Look, I’m a long time fan of the Cubbies. I bleed red and blue,” bear activist, … Continue reading

Virgin America named top airline, validates abstinence-only education”
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Virgin America named top airline, validates abstinence-only education”

The magazine Conde Nast Traveler released their list of the world’s top airlines, and Virgin America was named the top U.S. carrier. Not only has the airline already benefitted from the ranking via increased ticket sales, but also through support from several religious institutions that advocate for abstinence. “Virgin America truly shows Christian values,” Father … Continue reading

Conway steers into skid with new campaign slogan: ‘Grab America By the People’
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Conway steers into skid with new campaign slogan: ‘Grab America By the People’

In the aftermath of the reveal of Trump’s 2005 comments about sexual assault, many conservatives have pulled their support for the Republican nominee. Many, however, have stuck by his side, including Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, who came up with an interesting spin on Trump’s comments. “As usual, mainstream media has completely distorted the true … Continue reading

Stranger Things Hater is Strangest Thing in Room
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Stranger Things Hater is Strangest Thing in Room

Floor 3B in the Witte dormitories is reportedly “shaken up” after a revelation late last Friday night. Controversial freshman Ashley Ritter was the cause for the commotion, as she politicized a otherwise pleasant party by insulting the Netflix sensation “Stranger Things.”  The incident occurred at an eight person rager in room 345. While the party started off on a … Continue reading

Goblinpower to Replace Horsepower as Century’s Arbitrary Unit of Measurement
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Goblinpower to Replace Horsepower as Century’s Arbitrary Unit of Measurement

The scientific community is buzzing this week after German scientists declared that Horsepower is to be replaced at the turn of the upcoming year. “We thought it was time for a change” reported Karl Schultz, the researcher spearheading the project. “Horsepower has been around so long that people were starting to act like it made … Continue reading