Desire2Learn changed to more hip Down2Learn
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Desire2Learn changed to more hip Down2Learn

This week, University of Wisconsin made an edgy attempt to better connect with students by changing the name of the most popular Learn@UW page. After speaking with  several students and discussing the implications of this powerful decision, the administration decided to change the name of “Desire2Learn” to the more hip and relatable “Down2Learn.” “It was … Continue reading

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UW Student,drinker shocked to receive BC on “Alcohol and Other Substance Use Disorders” exam

Following a gruesome week of studying for two exams and one quiz, University of Wisconsin junior Matthew Murphy was stunned after checking Learn@UW and finding he scored a BC on his Social Work 453 “Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse” class. “I originally took the class because I already am quite versed in disorderly drinking,” Murphy said. … Continue reading

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Remaining cabinet positions to be filled by Disney villains

Following his unexpected election win, President-Elect Donald Trump began the work of hiring over 4000 people to his staff and cabinet. He recently named anti semitic, white supremacist “journalist” Steve Bannon as a senior policy advisor. This has spiked further outrage against Trump, giving substance to the claims that Trump is evil. Rather than trying … Continue reading

Trump demands rap musical be made about himself as apology for Pence’s treatment
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Trump demands rap musical be made about himself as apology for Pence’s treatment

Vice President-elect Mike Pence attended Hamilton: An American Musical on Friday evening, motivating the significantly diverse cast to address him personally, stating they hoped the show “Inspires him to defend and uphold their inalienable rights.” Trump, at the first sign of minorities speaking out, pounced on the issue and demanded a complete apology, from the … Continue reading

UW botanists selectively breeding campus plants to smell even more like ‘wicked-nasty anus’
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UW botanists selectively breeding campus plants to smell even more like ‘wicked-nasty anus’

Students who’ve previously crinkled their noses at the smell of UW’s decorative campus plants are in for a “wicked-nasty” surprise. Researchers from the UW botany department announced Monday that they will begin selectively breeding the university’s ubiquitous, malodorous, and universally unpopular decorative plants in 2017, with the goal of making said plants smell even more … Continue reading