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First gluten free strip club in Madison opening

Earlier today plans were made public announcing the opening of the nation’s first gluten free, organic strip club. While the site details are still in the approval process, the club’s owner Joe Goodale has big plans for the business.

“De-Floured,” as Goodale has named it, will be an FDA certified, organic, gluten free, gentleman’s club; the first of it’s kind.

“My son is gluten intolerant,” Goodale said, “He really inspired me to create a space where people like him could have fun without worrying about their dietary habits.

The dancers will operate on a one hundred percent gluten free diet, and will only accept responsibly sourced dollar bills. Goodale will also enforce a strict “No AMO (Aesthetically Modified Organism) Rule”, prohibiting the dancers from getting plastic surgery, spray tans, wearing makeup, as well as the usage of body glitter. Goodale hopes this will create a more “organic” environment.

Patrons visiting the club will be expected to dispose of any gluten-containing items before entering the club, and will be required to wear powderless, latex gloves before interacting with any of the dancers.

Additionally, before attempting to tip any of the dancers, patrons must verify that they do so in an environmentally responsible way.

“It’s kind of a gentleman’s club trademark to throw a stack of singles into the air to ‘make it rain’, but at De-Floured we ask that patrons remain environmentally conscious and stray away from the usage of paper money. Instead we ask that patrons tip our dancers using coinage in an effort to decrease global deforestation.”

The club plans to offer an extensive wine collection as an alternative to the standard, gluten-containing beer. A variety of salads and other gluten free food options will be offered as well. Goodale plans to hold a grand opening next year on January thirteenth, National Gluten-Free Day.

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