Freshmen hoping to get into Halloween party insist they know “Greg”

Saturday night, in a lofty effort to attend a party at 10 S Bassett St., seven freshmen, all residents of Chadbourne Hall, arrived to the party on the pretense of claiming to know “Greg,” allegedly the 21-year-old cousin of one of the freshman’s friends from high school.

“I’m not the best at getting addresses for parties on the weekends, but my buddy from junior year sent me a text about one,” Peter Miller, the freshman with the “place,” said. “So far this year we’ve only made it out of Chad twice, and one of those times somebody in our group was so drunk from pregaming we ended up going back and watching Finding Nemo in our lounge.”

The text received by Miller read, “Hey dude my cousin Greg is having a rager this weekend at Bassett. You should try to get in.” According to Miller, the group has never actually met Greg, but if they were asked at the door whom at the party they knew, answering “Greg” would most certainly grant them access to a $5 cup and a somewhat mild chance at a hookup.

"Greg, remember me? I knew you before you were a gourd. Let me in!"
“Greg, remember me? I knew you before you were a gourd. Let me in!”

Sophie Thompson, another freshman in the pack, said she was excited that the party was “underwater” themed, which implied that each person attempting to gain entry to the party would need to be dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, worn-out foam Old Navy flip flops and an ill-fitting hula skirt that may inadvertently show pubic hair.

“We all dressed pretty well, I gotta say. I put together my outfit four days before the party with my friend Julia at Ragstock,” Thompson said. “They have the BEST stuff for parties.”

While most of those invited to the party were of legal drinking age, there is definitely a chance underage attendees were consuming alcohol at the party. One partygoer said he saw someone clearly intoxicated boasting about her performance in her Philosophy 101 course with a senior, who was far less drunk, majoring in microbiology.

At press time, it is unclear whether or not the seven freshmen gained admission to the party. The pack was last seen huddled around outside the party debating whether or not to “go to Ian’s or hit up that party Mark’s friend from Anthro is having.”

Greg Stein, the “Greg” in question, said he attended the party for a bit, but left one hour before the freshmen came to meet his girlfriend in x01.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s