Confusion and anger blossomed on State Street Wednesday afternoon when Starbucks announced to basic white girls, your mom and the world at large, that they would be introducing a new drink to their repertoire of Holiday inspired beverages to challenge the big spoon position of the Pumpkin Spice Latte: the Chestnut Praline Latte.
While some Starbucks connoisseurs are welcoming the idea of a new up-and-coming, overpriced coffee product, others are concerned about the survival of the original Starbucks holiday drink: the PSL.
“To be perfectly honest, the idea of some new drink trying to oust my P-Spice has me more uncomfortable than a squirmy virgin losing it in a hammock,” sophomore Molly Jennison said.
“I’m just feeling a little rushed. It took us a full two months to come up with the hashtag #PSpice4Lyfe, and this latte just doesn’t rhyme with 4Lyfe,” sophomore Dakota Lenz said.
Alternatively, other students struggle to grasp the concept of the of new drink.
“What even is a pray-line?,” one Shawn Olsen tweeted. Much favoriting of this tweet ensued from his fellow underclassmen; the tweet in question was even retweeted later by none other than Jaden Smith.