by Rodrigo Rodriguez
The Badger Herald and The Daily Cardinal have had their shots at opinion pieces on Mifflin. Naturally, they were concerned with journalistic integrity and how intelligent you thought they were. However, I don’t give a shit about journalistic integrity and I couldn’t care less about how intelligent you think I sound (okay, maybe care a little about the latter). I hope that not only the students and staff of UW-Madison read this, but also the Madison Police Department and even Mayor Soglin (What’s up, Paul? I can party at your house on the 4th, right?). I’m not only concerned with what should be, but I am also concerned with what has been and what is going to be.
For this piece, I could of course talk about the prohibition era of the United States, but I’m sure all of you (especially Mayor Soglin) know how successful that was. Or I could set the scene and go all the way back to the first Mifflin, but that Mifflin isn’t the Mifflin that anyone is talking about (although I’m sure MPD is just dying to use their tear gas on us, just like the good ol’ days). If you really think about it, the Mifflin that everyone is talking about is Mifflin 2011. Mifflin 2011, where everyone got pregnant and stabbed each other and pooped on police cars. But what was so different about that Mifflin? Why was that our last hurrah? What changed?
Where all da’ old farts at? I see you! Y’all know what was different!
Capitol Centre Market sponsored Mifflin. There were food vendors up and down the street (I long for the Mifflin where I can get JD’s Chicken without leaving the street). There were concerts all day (My memory does not serve me correctly, but knowing how nice he is, DJ Nick Nice was probably there). And last but certainly not least, there was drinking allowed on the street! It’s a liberal dream. Company sponsorship ruined Mifflin. Okay, so it wasn’t all their fault. You had to be of legal drinking age (which used to be 18 once upon a time and is even lower in other progressive, less puritanical parts of the world) and you had to have a red wristband – but from personal experience, the police were not doing that great of a job checking wrists.
Wait. Hold on a second. No, I couldn’t be . . . am I saying that the police and city are partly to blame for the terrible Mifflin 2011? No! It can’t be! The MPD is perfect and flawless! It must be those damned kids! Go back to blaming the kids! It’s obviously those crazy, drunk, college kids! And MTV! Let’s blame them too while we’re at it!
Here’s where MPD and the city are going to defend themselves and I’m sure will be an adorable defense. Don’t get your lacy thongs in a bunch (I don’t know, I just assume the MPD really likes lace). If I am to defend Mifflin, that must mean I’ve attended the festival of debauchery. I’ve seen my fair share of drunk assholes and wasted bitches (and I don’t use that in a sexist way – I’ve seen plenty of drunk bitchy guys). College students and college-aged people (you’re kidding yourself if you think Mifflin party goers are only from around here, let alone only students of the university) are not by any means perfect. I will not hold anything against the police for arresting people who are out of control or, you know, stabbing people.
But do the MPD and Mayor Soglin have to treat us like children? We’re in college, not high school or middle school. We can chew gum in class now while wearing a low cut shirt showing off our cleavage (despite how distracted I and my fellow classmates are going to get – how could we not with such loud gum chewing?). I’m not arguing that the city will let us rage (although it would be lovely if they did), but I am arguing that instead of working against us, they could work with us. The city and the university loves how smart and great we are at everything – so then treat us like it! If you think we’re smart, ask us how we can solve this Mifflin issue. We better know something smart. Otherwise we don’t go to a university, we go to a pit where we dump all our money in.
(I suppose the Revelry gang was a mediocre example of this type of collaboration I speak of, but judging from their statement, they’re the kids afraid of being called brown-nosers or they were somehow genuinely shocked that Mayor Soglin used them in what I would like to believe was a political move in the style of House of Cards, Georgia accents and all. This of course is pretty obvious to everyone else that Soglin and the university was using them the entire time, but they apparently were duped. Regardless of which, the line-up isn’t that great and it’s only providing an alternative to Mifflin for students who would have probably attempted to study that day anyways, with the exception of Hoodie Allen fans which I guess maybe exist somewhere probably.)
So until something changes, which I doubt something will, this is what is going to happen on May 4th:
Revelry might get people to come to their festival, but as I’ve stated above, that line-up is not the strongest line-up and if anything, Revelry’s foam party will just attract drunk biddies (let’s use that word more) from Mifflin – and onto campus.
There will definitely be a handful of Mifflin residents who are going to throw parties (mainly because, and I shit you not, police officers have been going door to door and telling residents that they can still have parties if they want to and to keep it legal and blah, blah, blah. The important part is the police are saying residents can still go ahead and have parties).
And since the MPD used scare tactics to make us all think Mifflin was canceled, Langdon and other downtowners are going to feel obliged to hold parties of their own or back-up parties in case Mifflin turns into a shit show (and not the good kind). The west side of off-campus living have probably talked about having parties because if anyone else knows how to day drink, it’s the residents who live around Camp Randall.
The dorm kids are probably already planning their pre-games plans for that day (I’m talking about you, Sellery and Witte!).
The police will have a harder time cracking down on speakeasies since their tactics thus far have just encourage the partying to happen throughout the whole city rather just on one street.
Most importantly, Mayor Soglin will succeed – at two things, one being his goal, and one being a result of his goal. He will succeed at killing the Mifflin Block Party that used happen every year on Mifflin Street. He will also succeed at transforming “Mifflin” from a centralized block party into a drinking holiday that will happen all over the city. So on May 4th when I’m drinking on Mifflin Street and Langdon Street and Dayton Avenue and Randall Avenue and Breese Terrace, I’ll make sure to raise my red plastic cup to Mayor Soglin for ending the crowded block party and starting the de-centralized drinking holiday. Cheers!
The Madison Misnomer 