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Former Area Restaurants Reopening in University Square Food Court

Executive Management Inc., the owners of University Square (commonly referred to as the Lucky Building), have announced earlier this afternoon that Fat Sandwich Company, Big Red’s Steaks, and a combination KFC-Taco Bell will be reopening in the building’s food court. While the food court formerly housed several bullshit “shopping mall food court” restaurants, business failed … Continue reading

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VH1 Set for New Series “College Life” Through Lens of MATC

VH1, the poorer, content starved little sister to MTV, announced earlier this month that they will be creating a reality series called College Life that will explore the college experience through the lens of five students who will be attending the Madison Area Technical College (MATC). They have selected five incoming freshmen with radically different, … Continue reading

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‘Space Voyage’ Now Online, Productivity Dies

Productivity died late Monday night.  Medical coroners, who examined productivity within minutes of its death, cited the official online release of Space Voyage: The Musical Frontier as the cause of death, the “incredibly entertaining, hilarious, and fun-to-watch coup de grâce.” Since the beginning of 2013, productivity had been on life support, suffering from previous health scares, … Continue reading

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Resurrected Helen C. White Blown Away by Hand Dryers

The reanimation of deceased UW professor Helen C. White has been marked by the professor’s obsession with College Library’s energy efficient hand dryers. White, a professor of English before her death in 1967, held a press conference in the second floor women’s restroom of College Library Saturday, next to her favorite “whippie doodle.” She responded … Continue reading