Jimmy John’s vs. Jimmy John’s: A Comparative Review

By Chester “Num Nums” Harrington Madison is truly a city of culinary delights. From the birthday favorite, The Nitty Gritty to the any-other-time favorite, The Great Dane, UW students have access to a selection of restaurants of all varieties. Misnomer food critic Chester “Num Nums” Harrington (winner of the Silver Spork Award for Tasty Journalism … Continue reading

Dialogue With Desire / Stories, Books, and Blogs

Dialogue with Desire: A Memoir in 98 Parts – Part 4

by R. D. Herschel The babe burped. The man looked. He saw the stars. The babe spoke. The man responded. Into the darkness, the two souls imagined themselves flying through the intergalactic void, visiting worlds far distant from their own. Into the darkness, they envisioned a different fate for themselves, lush worlds far different from the … Continue reading


Student’s Witty Back-and-Forth with TA Makes Rest of Students Uncomfortable

In the 11:00 am Thursday Discussion section of Introduction to Central Asian Cultures, a witty back-and-forth discussion between student Dan Redding and TA Heather Sands made the rest of the students in the discussion quite uncomfortable. “Dan really knew what he was talking about, and, frankly, it made some
 of us a little uncomfortable” one … Continue reading


Study Finds Boy/Girlfriend Will Never Know You Wore That U of M Sweatshirt Around Madison

In a recent study conducted by a UW-Madison Textile and Apparel Design major, data shows that 78% of boyfriends/girlfriends will never know that your wore that sweatshirt and/or other apparel from their respective schools they gave to you as a gift during your collegiate, long-distance relationship. ‘This comes as a shock and complete contradiction to … Continue reading


Veterans Museum Drafts Homeless Residents into Military Service

Finally solving the homeless problem in Madison, the Veterans Museum, in conjunction with the United States Army, decided to conscript the homeless population and promptly send them off to Afghanistan. The project, dubbed “Operation Streetsweep,” commenced at 2100 hours yesterday evening. Three black helicopters were heard descending on Capitol Square, while a ground strike force … Continue reading


UW Junior Achieves Most Productive Day of Break by Making Pizza, Playing with Self

Well into his fifth week of break, Biochemistry and Nuclear Engineering Major Nathan Goodell’s activity level skyrocketed yesterday, when he baked a frozen pizza and later ejaculated into an old dress sock. “Woo, I’m pooped,” Goodell said late last night from his childhood home in Plymouth, MN. “Initially, I wasn’t for sure I’d even get … Continue reading