From the Archives / Opinions

Chancellor Ward: “We’re Going to Promote Equality Through Equal Hatred”

After multiple attempts to correct racial inequality at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, British, Interim Chancellor David Ward has brought a fresh new approach to correcting injustice. “All our efforts have been toward non-discrimination policies and affirmative action programs in the past,” said Ward. “But helping minorities raise their education to become more prosperous only made … Continue reading

From the Archives / News

Art Students Protest Vilas Hall; Plan to “Take Back Building Aesthetic”

Art Majors at UW-Madison continue to protest Vilas Hall this week, occupying the grimy and dead-end hallways of the building with their portfolios and David Eggers novels in hand. The protest, now in its 23rd day, began after the University announced it would not put any new renovations on of the ugliest buildings on campus. … Continue reading

From the Archives / Lists

Things Interim Chancellor David Ward Says That Get Girls Hot Because of His British Accent

“Balancing the budget is hard, tiring work.” “We want to see the University adjust to new financial constraints in the years to come.” “Jeanette, can you re-schedule my 4:00 today? I’m absolutely knackered.” “I’d like to work closely with members of Governor Walker’s administration to establish a viable future for UW-Madison.” “I don’t know if … Continue reading

From the Archives / News

After Multiple Homicides, Area Man Can Finally Call State Street’s Peace Park “Ironic”

Joel Haughton breathed a huge sigh of relief, Sunday morning, after hearing the news of a vicious mass murder at downtown Madison’s recently opened hangout, Peace Park. The gang-style executions, which police officials attributed to a heroin dispute, finally allowed Haughton to use wildly inappropriate air quotations when describing the new outdoor plaza. “Its just … Continue reading